Bringing Up A Dream Child

Discipline your child without shouting or spanking
Bringing Up A Dream Child
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Author: Juhi Aggarwal
Format: Paperback
Language: English
ISBN: 9788178060354
Code: 9213F
Pages: 120
List Price: US$ 5.00
Price: US$ 4.50   You Save: US$ 0.50 (10.00%)

Published: 1970
Publisher: Unicorn Books
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There are no difficult children - there are difficult parents.

According to psychologists it is the parents who are largely responsible for how their children ultimately turn out to be.
Likewise the parents themselves first need to know the difference between right and wrong, proper and improper behaviour, before they can play a positive and constructive role in the upbringing of their children
They also need to even set their own examples before them to follow.This is a breakthrough book that will change the way you think about and practise discipline.
The books guides you on how to:
*Set the rules according to age
*Produce a conducive atmosphere at home
*Listen to their problems
*Establish a bond of love and trust
*Deal with children's need of privacy
*Protect them from inappropriate behaviour of parents
*Avoiding conflict amongst themselves
*Improve communication with the child, explaining to the child the outcome of his/her behaviour
*Effect the system of reward or punishment
*Learn the ways to relax physically and mentally to cope with a child's reasoning
The book is especially produced for current environmentwhere the parent-child relationship has undergone a major change covering every stage from early childhood to difficult adolescence.

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About the Author(s)

Juhi Aggarwal, M.Sc, M.Ed has been in the field of education for over two decades, interacting with children of different age groups and backgrounds. She is a dedicated homemaker living in a close-knit joint family. A mother of two energetic and well-adjusted teenagers, she shares her experiences and techniques of bringing up well-disciplined children.

Contents

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Introduction

Discipline
What is Hitting?
Why not to Hit?
Child Abuse
Parental and Home Influences on Child
Behaviour
What are Rules?
Setting Rules According to Age
Techniques and Ways to
Discipline Children
Conducive Atmosphere
At Home (22 Techniques)
What Not To Do
Inappropriate Behaviour
of the Parents (15 Techniques)
Avoiding Conflicts
Simple Ways to Avoid Turning a Home
into a Battlefield (11 Techniques)
Effectively Dealing with the Child
Iproving Communication with
the Child (10 Techniques)
Giving the Child Consequences
Telling the Child the Outcome
of his Behaviour (16 Techniques)

Giving Yourself A Lift

Ways to Relax and Cope with
Child Rearing (7 Techniques)

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Sample Chapters


(Following is an extract of the content from the book)
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Ways to Relax and Cope with Child Rearing

1. Relaxation Exercises - Need for Relaxation
Are you experiencing irritability, anger, anxiety, depression? Your emotions reveal that you are stressed out. Stress can produce indecisiveness, lack of concentration, lack of control and negative thinking. Isn't it time you took a break?What is your concept of relaxation? Going to the hills in the summer break or lying on the beach with a book and a drink? Is it something which we plan to do later? Is it something to be done when we finish with all our work? Do you think our work is ever going to be finished? Most of the time we keep postponing our leisure outing.Relaxation is something we require on a regular basis. Try not to overreact to certain situations. You have a choice in how to respond to a certain situation. Relaxation helps take the focus away from the stressor and increases the possibility of experiencing a positive emotion.Try to spend at least ten minutes each day in relaxation exercises like deep breathing.

Deep Breathing Exercises
Sit comfortably in your chair.
Close your eyes.
Keep your arms by the side of your body.
Remove all distractions from your mind.
You are slowly feeling relaxed and calm.
Rest your right hand on your stomach.
Take a deep breath and feel your stomach rise.
Now breathe out and feel your stomach go in.
Repeat this exercise to a count of five.
Slowly open your eyes you feel relaxed and alert.

2. Meditation
Whenever we overstrain the human machine i.e. the body, and disregard nature's warning, the mind or body can suffer a breakdown. Meditation teaches us to be at peace with ourselves. It teaches us to be calm and experience absolute relaxation. 5-10 minutes of meditation can train the mind to be still and quiet. This stillness can be incorporated into our daily life by making us less reactive and irritable. Rather than seeing everything as an emergency, everything is treated coolly.Meditation is not easy. The moment you try to clear your mind of thoughts, it will be flooded with more unsavoury ones. Make a conscious attempt to blank out all thoughts. Beginners may be able to manage it just for a few seconds. Patience and consistency will help you increase this time. A few minutes devoted to meditation will pay you rich dividends.

This is how you can go about it:
Choose some quiet environment.
Close your eyes and sit crosslegged.
Relax your muscles.
Breathe through nose.
You can focus your attention on one point, it can be a picture, idol, sculpture or even your breathing!
Reciting the mantra also activates the various centres of the central nervous system.
You can recite a mantra like the Gayatri mantra by which one secures the highest knowledge through God.

3. Yoga
Yoga is based on ancient Indian wisdom and culture and is more than 5,000 years old. Millions of people all over the world are using the system and discipline of yoga for self-evolution and self-realization. Yoga is a totally integrated system which studies man in his wholeness, body, mind and spirit.Yoga therapy is based on four important concepts of Ahar (diet); Achar (relationship or code of conduct); Vichar (thought process) and Vihar (a balanced programme to handle the body-mind complex, rest and recreation). This holistic approach restores balance and brings about harmony between body, mind and soul.Yoga gives you a feeling of peace, harmony and tranquillity. It strengthens the muscles, creating flexibility and ease of motion. It is a tremendous stress reducer. A person becomes more alive and focused.
Some points in favour of yoga include:It is easy to do.It consumes only a few minutes every day.It is non-competitive and non-stressful.People of any age can do it.You can work and progress at your own pace and comfort level.It can be done alone or along with a friend or even with the family.Classes are held at local parks, temples, community centres.Yogic method of harmonious and deep breathing brings about a sedative effect on the nerves and helps achieve mental equilibrium.It is suitable for all kinds of people. E.g., harassed housewives, troubled parents, busy executives, growing children.It is best to practise yoga exercises early in the morning or evening.

4. Take a Break
One day I rang up my sister, a senior consultant in a multinational company and a mother of two - an energetic three-year-old and a one-year-old kid. How is the big boss? I asked."Boss my foot, you are actually speaking to a slave! I feel I work round-the-clock. With the hectic office work and kids I am totally fagged out by the end of the day. I become irritable and snappy by night. My kind of entertainment is sleeping peacefully at a reasonable hour. She needed time out desperately.Everybody needs and deserves a break. Sometimes a problem is not so urgent that it requires an immediate solution. It is best to take a break from a child or even a spouse. Take a brisk walk without dwelling on the problem. With a clear head, then work on the problem.My sister hit upon a plan to take a well-deserved break. On Saturdays, the children would be the father's responsibility for two hours. She would drive to the nearby beauty parlour. She would take a prolonged body massage, facial, pedicure, manicure. These two hours rejuvenated and revitalised her.Taking a break from parenting becomes a must sometimes. It is a never-ending job. You require time out not only to cope with physical fatigue but also mental fatigue. Choose an activity which you enjoy the most. It can be catching up on the latest bestseller, going bowling, going for a play or a film. Choose a person who you can trust the children with. It may be the dadi, nani, masi, maid or a babysitter. Enjoy your time out and face each new day with a fresh mind and the right attitude.

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R e v i e w s


Bringing up a Dream Child
by sribinayg, 08/10/2008, 06:23 PM GMT
Parents, who come across exceptionally well-behaved and motivated children, sometimes wonder why their own offspring do not have such qualities. They cannot help thinking that somewhere along the line they were amiss in their own methods of upbringing…The author’s experience over two decades in the field of education brought about the realization, that all parents are keen that their kids grow to be obedient, bright, honest, successful, and energetic. However, few succeed to the extent they desire. Juhi Aggarwal set about trying to discover what was going wrong with the methods used by such parents, and why other parents could enjoy fruitful, life-long relationships with their satisfied children.
The first thing she noticed was that ‘There are no difficult children, there are difficult parents.’ It is parents who are largely responsible for how their children ultimately turn out to be. Parents need to themselves decide what proper and improper behaviour really is, and to properly differentiate between right and wrong. Children ape their grown-ups, particularly parents…She advises parents not to be too authoritarian, or too lenient. A subtle mix of democracy and firmness is needed…Discipline should not be a punishment. It should be a boundary guideline, which cannot be overstepped with impunity. Parents, who take personal interest on a day-to-day basis, are able to spot behaviour changes early and take remedial measures. Parents who are too busy with their business, professional or social activities cannot hope to enjoy good rapport with their kids. Particularly when the child is approaching the teens, and hormone changes are creating stress for the child’s personality, parents have to be on hand, and act as counselors and companions.
The author stresses habits which yield rich dividends-letting children enjoy privacy, reinforcing good behaviour, listening attentively to the child, having family meetings, discussing the consequences of behaviour, praising, establishing an atmosphere of trust, etc.
ACE LETTER September 2007
sribinayg@gmail.com

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